Black and Gold
by katachresis
Summary: After the end of the world lies another beginning and ending. Johan has woken up and Tenma has returned to Japan, where another monster is awakening. yaoi, Fukubei/ Tenma, Johan/Tenma
1. Chapter 1

So for those of you interested in my Avatar fic… this is entirely different. Sorry! *hides* I know I should be working on Fuseki.

Fandom: crossover with Monster and 20th Century Boys  
Pairings: Fukubei/Tenma, eventual Johan/Tenma, semi-OMC/Tenma (... yes Tenma is my fandom bicycle, shush)  
Warnings: will be R in parts, references to NCS

A/N: Fukubei is Hattori. Hattori is Fukubei. Just to clear that up for people~. There WILL be spoilers for the all of Monster and quite a bit of 20CB in this (up till New Year's). There will also be incorporation of information from Another Monster, but you don't have to read it to understand the story.

This fic takes place several months after the end of Monster and is Tenma-centric, in a way.

Also... Interested in finding a new rp partner. PM me if you're interested at all!

---

To Johan, it was barely yesterday since the last day of his life.

The seasons had changed, as had the year – but he had no memory of it, of course. No memory of anything except the end of the world and blessed dark, and then Doctor Tenma, once again sitting by his bed, talking to him in that quiet way he had.

His end of the world was over. He knew that, but it left him feeling lost, with no direction. It was then that things started to make sense, strangely enough. And it was then, that he knew what he would do, and that was why he left the hospital.

It wasn't easy to leave – his body was weakened severely by the coma. It was harder to regain his strength, but without it he wouldn't be able to be anything or do anything… and that was unacceptable. It was his turn to act, and he could not do that while weak or imprisoned.

---

Hattori hated sitting in coach normally. It was crowded, it smelled like feet, and people were rude. It made him feel like wiping out humanity would be the most sane, just thing to do – if this was what humanity was, they were a blight.

This time, however was different. The flight wasn't absolutely full for once, and he had an aisle seat – not as cramped as normal. But that wasn't what made the flight interesting… there was someone absolutely _fascinating _that he couldn't take his eyes off of.

The man he was watching sat tensely on the plane, an unread medical journal in his lap, his too-thin frame pressed to the wall as he stared out the window. Ragged, overlong hair fell around his face. He seemed to be watching the arrival of land with a morbid fascination, completely still, though before he had been distractedly drumming his fingers on the armrest.

Hattori had been watching him the whole flight, but the man seemed too caught up in his own thoughts to notice. He has lost, dark, familiar eyes that had a way of seeing everything one moment and being blind the next, and the dazed, distracted air of a wartime doctor – physically and mentally bruised by what he had done and seen and dreading a worse future.

In a way – Hattori smiled to himself – that was an entirely apt metaphor. He recognized the other man of course, although he wasn't as famous anymore, his picture had been in the papers for over a year at one time. He doubted, however that he himself would be recognized when the doctor finally took notice of him, (which he would) after all, grown men rarely recognize their childhood acquaintances.

The two seats next to the other man were empty, so he ignored the seatbelt sign and rose, settling down next to the doctor who started, looking at him sharply with suspicious, exhausted eyes.

"Tenma-sensei?" He smiled charmingly, something that made the other man tense even more. Hattori simply handed him the newspaper he was reading, a Japanese newspaper with a small article about the doctor's homecoming, then leaned over him to gently pull the windowshade shut.

"If you are a reporter, you're wasting your time." His words were a strange mix of tired, clipped, and hesitant. It made Hattori smile just a little, realizing how very long Tenma had been out of Japan, to make his own language sound so foreign to him.

"Nothing of the sort," he reassured him quickly. "I was simply worried – you look so upset. I know you never liked home, but is it really worth all this?"

The doctor's frown got even deeper, obviously angry and off-guard. Hattori was being deliberately rude, and it didn't surprise him when the other man turned from him, slamming the window open again. It made him chuckle a little, quickly speaking again. "Tenma-san, don't be angry with me… or don't you recognize your old classmate?"

He reached over Tenma again, resting his hand over his briefly, slipping a card into it. Lingering for a moment, testing him, and withdrawing innocently when the first sign of discomfort appeared in the other's frown.

Tenma looked down at the card in his hand, reading it. Repeating Hattori's name slowly, relaxing a touch with each syllable and then finally looking up at him, the suspicion mostly clearing out of his eyes. Hattori caught his breath for a moment, finding to his surprise a gentle, magnetic pull to the other.

"I'm sorry if I upset you earlier." His words were soft, almost curious. He rarely ever apologized and even more rarely meant it. Strange that his old acquaintance could get an honest apology out of him without even trying.

Tenma shook his head, just a little flushed with embarrassment. "No, I'm sorry. I'm just a little tired. It's been a long flight."

Hattori nodded, leaning over to gently close the window again, this time to focus the other's attention on him, almost to distract him, rather than to annoy him. "Not only the flight, I'm sure. But really, you are making me worry. You seem to be so upset to be going home. I would have guessed you would be eager to be out of the spotlight."

Tenma shrugged stiffly, slipping the journal into his small bag, pushing it back under the seat. "Home was never a comfortable place for me, as you pointed out earlier. And it has been quite some time."

Hattori nodded a little, slowly, a plan slowly taking shape in his mind.

Tenma Kenzo was a brilliant doctor, after all. And he had use for brilliant doctors.

The rest of the flight passed quickly, Hattori doing his best to put Tenma at ease. Insisting on hailing a cab for the two of them, since they lived relatively close together, after all, he helped the other with his luggage -- surprisingly little for someone moving home from over a decade living on an entirely different continent.

Tenma got more distracted as they got closer to his family's mansion, until the cab paused there, waiting. Hattori smiled to himself a bit, glad he had decided to go there first. Tenma just staring up at the house, sitting still so long that the cabbie cleared his throat just a little, politely. He reached over, placing a hand lightly on his shoulder. "If you'd rather not face them tonight, I have a very comfortable couch..."

The doctor looked back at him, frowning a little, looking wary again in the half-light of the moon and streetlamps. "Are you sure I wouldn't be a burden?"

"Of course you wouldn't. It's the least I can do for an old friend." He leaned forward, giving the taxi driver a new destination, and settled back into his seat.

And so it was that Tenma Kenzo, the brilliant neurosurgen, ended up on his couch splitting a bottle of sake with him that night. His face had relaxed finally, eyes still a little haunted, but no longer suspicious or fearful. Hattori, faced with the same unusual draw to the doctor found himself enjoying their time. He originally had planned to simply seduce Tenma, then send him home and maintain the relationship from a distance. Now, however, he found himself contemplating something a bit more. Perhaps even like his relationship with Kiriko, without all the mess of wedding plans and pregnancy.

Doctors made good companions -- too busy to resent his own busy schedule, too focused to look very hard at his alibis.

----

When he had regained himself enough, Tenma had already gone. Johan was thrown by the decision to go back to Japan, instead of the MSF. Tenma, as far as he could determine, had not told anyone why.

It was a decision that didn't sit right with him, for some reason. He always had these gut instincts that served him well when it came to self-preservation. Never before had Johan had a feeling like that before in regards to anyone but himself and Anna, though.

To reassure himself, he researched what he could about Tenma in Germany, but it seemed that he had been very tight-lipped about his family and his life in Japan. All that he found out was were the doctor was from and that Tenma had come from a family of doctors – his father a small medical practitioner, his older brother another doctor. .

Even Tenma's life in Germany was a frustratingly closed book. Other than the fiancée, there were no ex-girlfriends to exploit, no close friends. Certainly no one who wouldn't recognize him and try to hand him over to the police and he really did not want to hassle with that right now.

So he began studying Japanese – trusting his own ability to learn languages to get him through – and bought a plane ticket.

----

Nearly two weeks after he had arrived in Japan, Tenma was still sleeping on his couch, a fact which pleased Hattori to no end. The doctor had called his father out of some sense of guilt, and had started working almost immediately at the family hospital. He seemed resigned to the almost backwards career move, even though Hattori had tried to convince him to apply at other hospitals in the area. It wasn't so bad, he supposed; Tenma would eventually inherit the hospital. It could be a position of power.

Tenma was cooking when Hattori came in from his own business. The doctor had obviously just woken up, hair mussed, shirt a bit wrinkled. He had been working hard -- at work for nearly thirty-six hours straight, and he had only gotten home late last night, so this was unsurprising. Hattori smiled, helping him a little by getting out plates, amused at his own domesticity.

"Do you mind?" Tenma asked, a little out of the blue.

"Mind what?" Hattori looked over from the bottle of wine he was opening.

"That I've practically moved in here." Tenma looked a bit sheepish, turning off the stove. "Really, I feel like I've abused your hospitality terribly."

Hattori smiled, pouring Tenma a glass of wine and handing it to him. "I wondered how long it would take you to ask." Tenma obviously embarrassed at that. "Of course I don't mind. Honestly.. it's been nice to have someone else around. Ever since my wife left me..." He trailed off, pouring his own glass and turning his face away some. Knowing, vaguely, that Tenma's fiancée had left him several years ago and hoping this would strike a chord with him. The other hadn't, to his knowledge, dated since after all.

"Oh. I'm so sorry.." Tenma replied softly. Sipping his wine, awkwardly.

He shook his head a little, smiling weakly. "It's just the way things go. We married too young." Gently, he nudged Tenma aside, taking it upon himself to serve them both a plate of food. "Anyway, I mean to say that… if you are happy here, I don't mind at all." Smiling slyly, deciding that it was high time they moved on from this in-between relationship. "Though I'm sure the couch must be getting a little uncomfortable."

Tenma shook his head a little, not getting the subtle meaning in that. "It's fine. Thank you." Taking his plate from Hattori, he went to sit at the table, waiting to be joined before starting to eat.

Hattori let it go for the duration of the meal, waiting until Tenma had a few glasses of wine. He had a very low tolerance for alcohol now -- Hattori suspected that he hadn't drank at all during his time on the run (a period of time that he was having difficulty curbing his curiosity about, since Tenma wouldn't talk about it at all, but patience, first things first..).

After the meal, they moved to the couch to watch the news – a sort of nighttime ritual they had fallen into. Hattori found himself staring at Tenma's hair, amused. It was longer than he had ever seen it, and it reminded him of the brief period of time that Tenma had been friends with Endou Kenji.

Kenji. Hattori smirked a little, though it was almost a grimace. After they had both left middle school, Kenji had thrown himself into music, contemplating a career in rock. Tenma had gone to the same very selective high school as Hattori, but had also been obsessed with music. It seemed ironic to him that Tenma looked more like a rockstar now than ever. "Your hair's gotten so long," he said quietly, leaning in a little.

Tenma flushed, sighing. "I know... I should cut it again soon. I just keep forgetting."

"I like it." He smiled. "Not forever, of course, but it makes you look more... wild, I suppose."

Tenma laughed dryly, setting the glass aside. "Unkempt is more like it."

"Dashing." He smiled softly, recognizing his moment and leaning in to kiss the corner of his mouth slowly, prepared for the moment that Tenma inhaled sharply and pulled back, eyes wide and confused... but not angry or scared, he realized with satisfaction, letting himself babble a little. "I'm sorry, I just... that.. I must've drank too much."

Tenma took a moment to respond. Frowning a little, but shaking his head. "It's.. it's okay. I'm not angry."

"Still, I apologize. I.." he sighed for effect here, making sure he looked quite upset. "I don't mean to force my attraction onto you."

Tenma looked taken aback. "Your attraction?"

Hattori shrugged a little, pouring himself more wine... not at all drunk, but letting himself act it, knowing that Tenma would buy it, considering how drunk the latter was. "Honestly, I've been attracted to you since we met in school. But I never thought you'd be interested in me of all people." Hoping that he'd strike the right note with Tenma, acting self-depreciating and hesitant.

Sucking in a breath a little, Tenma obviously was just thinking. Letting it out after a moment. "You never mentioned it before...."

"I never thought you'd be interested in another man." Quietly, watching him, waiting for the right moment.

"It's not that, it's.. just..." Obviously searching for the right words. Hattori sighed softly and leaned in again, kissing him properly this time, catching Tenma's chin and tilting his head a little into it. Kissing him through the tension and uncertainty, until the other melted slowly and started kissing him back slowly. Hiding a victorious smile, he pulled back slowly, stroking Tenma's cheek.

"There doesn't have to be anything to it, if you want it. No expectations.."

Tenma nodded slowly – and Hattori allowed the slow, triumphant smile as the other leaned up to kiss him again.


	2. Chapter 2

This has somehow turned into the fic of doom and I don't know how to stop XD so uh. Enjoy. There's a lot more coming.

As usual, this is a beta version that's largely unedited because I… don't currently have a beta. If anyone wants to apply for the position, pm me! 3

----

Johan slept for two days straight when he arrived in Japan. He had never been one to need sleep, before, and he would have hoped to be able to go on as if he didn't fly halfway around the world, but he was still too weak. The jetlag put him in a mood, made him even more tense.

Eventually, he moved from the hotel to an apartment relatively close to the address he had for Tenma's family. He even went by Tenma's childhood home – much larger than he had ever expected, it was literally a mansion. Tenma wasn't living there though, and the servants couldn't tell him a thing about where he was now. So he started his work, the work he had been doing all his life. Listening.

It took some time to find anyone willing to talk to him, even with the help of a translator. Tenma didn't maintain contacts with any of his old school friends and even above that, Johan stood out too much here – not in the same way that he did in Germany, where he was just more handsome, charismatic, or intelligent than normal. Here he was an _outsider_. Distrust tinged everything, and he hadn't ever really experienced that before.

He decided quickly that he didn't really like the Japanese, much. They were nothing like Tenma. They blended in to each other, were uncomfortable with standing out or standing up. It seemed that everything they did was together.

Eventually, he managed to charm a couple of old classmates of Tenma's, though it took substantial work. It was strange, hearing about Tenma as a child. He never really thought of Tenma's childhood before – it never seemed relevant.

It was mildly amusing to learn some things – he had liked running, television. Cartoons that seemed to be famous but Johan couldn't even pronounce. Really, the doctor seemed to have had a singularly boring childhood, one that didn't suit the person he knew.

Finding out about Tenma's childhood was a waste of time, really – it didn't do anything to relieve the tension that was building. Tenma hadn't contacted his old classmate; in fact the man was shocked to hear that Tenma had even come back to Japan. He had no idea where the doctor might be, but he guessed he might be at the family hospital.

With that information in hand, Johan felt a little foolish. Though he hadn't known Tenma's family ran a large hospital in the area, he should have at least expected Tenma to go right back to work. The doctor was a workaholic, after all. So Johan turned his attention to where it should have been in the first place.

The hospital run by Tenma's father was large but not very modern – Johan felt like it was almost a step back for the doctor. Still, like everywhere else, it was relatively easy to win over the nurses, once they got over his foreignness.

Tenma was working ridiculously long hours, they told him. Working himself into an early grave, and the worry in their voices almost endeared them to Johan. He found himself worrying too, just the slightest touch. He knew Tenma cared deeply about his work, but still didn't feel that it was healthy for him to do nothing but.

He made no move to make his presence known, however. It didn't seem the right time, the right place. Maybe he was even a little frightened of what would happen. He couldn't imagine Tenma being happy to see him.

For the time being, he was content to simply watch.

----

"A phonecall for you from Germany… Nina?"

Tenma looked surprised for a moment, before smiling brightly, holding his hand out for the phone.

He lay down on the couch and listened to the conversation, though he understood very little German. Tenma spoke rapidly and absolutely fluently, though that wasn't surprising. He seemed relaxed though, happier than Hattori remembered seeing him since he came back.

"An old girlfriend?" he drawled a little as Tenma hung up the phone and picked up his tea.

Tenma choked slightly on his tea, setting it down and waving his hand. "No, no. Of course not. She's just in her twenties."

"Ah… a former patient then?"

"Of sorts." Tenma hesitating a little. "Both her and her brother were in an accident… I performed surgery on him."

"You're friends now, though?"

"Yes. Nina and I have kept in close contact."

There was something about the tone that made Hattori tilt his head. "Hn. … aren't you going to be late for work?"

Tenma cursed softly under his breath, looking at his watch and standing, leaning to brush a kiss over Hattori's temple. "Thanks. I'll see you tonight."

Hattori watched him run out the door, smiling a little and standing himself, stretching. They were falling into a nice little domesticity, but perhaps it was time to further his own interests, while Tenma was at the hospital.

----

Tenma Yori had been traveling for the last month, through the countryside of Japan. His career did not afford him much time to rest, but it was designed that way. He didn't like sitting around. Bringing medicine to rural areas, visiting different hospitals – everything was fine as long as he never slowed down, never took a break.

News of Kenzou's return stopped him in his tracks, however. It seemed unreal, that he was finally home. It had been a relief when his younger brother left… and now it felt like he couldn't breathe again, but he also felt lighter.

He dropped everything to go home, upsetting a few clients, but it was a strong compulsion that he couldn't fight, even if he had tried.

Their last conversation had been so long ago. He'd sent Kenzou letter upon; letter, even up until the last month. He'd even taken a collection to provide for his legal fees, knowing for certain that he was not capable of murder.

It was a pleasant shock to find him working at the family hospital. Diligent as ever, he was working late into the evening when Yori got there. It was relieving. Finally, they would get a chance to clear the air.

He watched Tenma, who was working on a patient chart by the low light in an exam room, for several moments before swinging the door open fully.

"Ken."

----

Hattori smoothed Tenma's hair from out of his face gently, sitting next to him in the early morning light. Unsure how it had happened that he let the other fall asleep on his shoulder without making a single move.

Tenma had been upset almost afraid, when he came home – a completely different mood than when he left. Hattori had done everything he could though, to mitigate it, even though it made him slightly frustrated with himself… when did he let this become complicated? When did it become more than simply gaining influence over Tenma?

It wasn't that he loved him or anything, thank heavens. It was simply that for whatever reason, it had become convenient, even interesting to help him. And Tenma didn't seem to _want _his help, something that both intrigued and irritated him.

Really, this was getting ridiculous. He carefully eased out from under Tenma, laying the doctor down on the couch gently.

He was handsome, Hattori reflected, standing and just watching him sleep for a few more moments. Nearly as handsome as himself, though there were more careworn lines in the other's face and his hair was still a little on the unkempt side. Sighing a little, he brushed it out of his face again, resolving to make the doctor a hair appointment. Perhaps some appointments for interviews with local hospitals, as well.

Not only did he want to keep Tenma to himself, without the interference of any of his family… it would be harder to manipulate Tenma into working on his projects, in such a small local hospital.

Tenma woke with a start, groping as if trying to reach under a nonexistent pillow. Hattori frowned a little, recognizing that gesture from the time he'd spent with less-than-wholesome people. Tenma looked like he was reaching for a weapon.

Such a strange habit to pick up. It put him on the defensive and he had to force himself to relax, deliberately. He must have imagined it – even with the doctor's time on the run, it was absurd to think that he was used to sleeping with a gun. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you…"

"No…" Tenma sat up, brushing his own hair out of his eyes with a sigh, checking his watch. "It's all right. I'm late for work, anyway."

That struck Hattori as simply _absurd_, and he tried not to laugh at him in disbelief, instead taking a breath. "You're not going back to that hospital." He said it firmly, hoping this wouldn't turn into an argument.

Tenma blinked up at him slowly, looking rather annoyingly stupid. "I have to go back. I can't just quit…"

"You can and you will." He rested a hand on Tenma's shoulder, trying not to be frustrated with him. For someone so intelligent, sometimes he was absolutely idiotic. "You've been wasting yourself there anyway. It's time you moved on."

----

Tenma moved hospitals. It was a move that took Johan by surprise and irritated him. It seemed sudden and unprovoked. It had taken Johan ages to ingratiate himself with the hospital staff without showing himself to Tenma. He didn't know why he was going to such lengths actually – except that it seemed to have a certain type of symmetry that was right for them.

This time he was going to be more direct. He immediately made friends with the director of the new hospital, and got himself invited to a party introducing their newest surgeon. He watched as Tenma pulled at his tie just a bit, uncomfortably, standing _too _close to a slightly taller, forgettable man that Johan hadn't learned much about yet, except his name. They were surrounded by what seemed like a sea of people – doctors, bigwigs from the new hospital. Tenma was clearly trying to blend in as much as he could although it was a welcoming party for him.

It was a small party, but the condo was still too small to receive the amount of guests present. It was nice – new and probably expensive, considering the floor and building it was in – but compared to Germany it was really quite uncomfortably cramped. It worked in Johan's favor though, managing to get close enough to the doctor to overhear his conversations without being immediately noticed.

Tenma looked terribly awkward as he sipped red wine and tried to politely dissemble when asked too-prying questions. It seemed that moving from German to Japan didn't ensure that he was less-recognized, it just made people even more luridly interested in the past.

Finally, after perhaps a glass too many and a cutting implication that he really _had _been involved in the murders, Tenma coolly excused himself, slipping out one of the doors to the balcony.

Johan smiled, excusing himself too. There was another door, the balcony wrapping around the condo, and he slipped out that one, knowing he'd be around the corner from Tenma. The balcony itself was rather large, especially considering the size of the apartment, and there was a strong, cool breeze coming up off the harbor.

Johan stepped up to the railing, sipping his wine and acting for the world like he'd been there the whole time, just waiting for Tenma to find him. He wasn't disappointed – he saw the other man as he stepped around the corner and froze, then took a quiet step backwards.

Johan set his wine down and turned to catch him, watching Tenma's eyes widen a bit in the dim light. The doctor spun, clearly overwhelmed and not quite sober, wavering on his feet. One hand reached for the railing and missed by a few inches. Johan closed the gap between them, steadying him with a hand on his waist, catching the outflung hand.

Tenma froze. Johan dipped his head a little to his ear, smiling softly. "Be calm, Doctor."

He stepped back then and Tenma turned his head slowly. Johan smiled softly – genuinely pleased to be face-to-face with him again.

It took quite a long moment for Tenma to say anything. Long enough for the euphoria to fade a little, for Johan to really feel the cold up here. The wind was picking up some, causing his hair to whip in it just a little, stinging his temples and cheeks.

"What are you doing here?"

Johan picked up his glass of wine, sipping it, languidly. "I was invited."

"That isn't what I meant." Tenma sounded frustrated. His German still perfect, but perhaps faintly accented, now. "What are you even doing in Japan? How long have you been here?"

"Why am I not in jail, you mean?" Johan smirked a little, leaning back against the rail. "I left before they could take me there."

Tenma turned from him, holding onto the railing firmly with both hands, knuckles white. "I see. And Japan?"

"I've been here for just under a month." Johan watched him closely, not wanting to give too much away yet.

"_Why_ here?"

Johan laughed just a touch, softly. "You shouldn't question my motives, Doctor Tenma. You may not like the answers."

Tenma's eyes flickered towards him, then back out at the city. Clearly he agreed with the statement.

"You're here with someone, aren't you?" Johan kept his voice carefully clear of any emotion – he didn't want Tenma to guess at what he was feeling before he even really knew himself.

"Does that matter?"

Johan shook his head. "Simply making conversation."

The doctor folded his arms to lean against the railing more, slouching a little against the wind. "For some reason, I didn't picture you as the type to indulge in small talk."

"You would be surprised. But now you're just avoiding the question, aren't you?" He pressed the doctor, needing to know the answer. He couldn't read Tenma like he could everyone else.

Tenma sighed deeply. "Yes, I am."

"Avoiding the question?"

He shook his head slowly. "No, here with someone."

"A date?"

"My partner." Tenma responded quietly, after a long moment's hesitation.

"Pity." Johan didn't know what possessed him to say that, but he smirked as he raised the glass of wine to his lips, sipping. His eyes stayed locked on Tenma's the entire time, he couldn't drag them away even when he realized that he was staring.

Tenma stared back at him while he drank and the tension was something he recognized from Suk, though he doubted Tenma was even quite aware of it. Johan lowered the glass and stepped into the doctor, angling Tenma into the railing a touch. Tenma jerked up, standing straight, looking up into Johan's eyes, backpedaling as much as he could without looking absolutely silly.

Johan caught one of his hands, guiding it up, and around the stem of the wineglass he held. "I find the wine isn't quite to my taste."

It wasn't what he wanted to do, but it certainly made Tenma flush. The doctor held onto the glass, because the only other option would be to let it drop, staring up at the other dumbly. Johan let his hand fall to the railing next to Tenma's waist, just looking down at him.

The doctor was a bit shorter than he remembered, shorter than him by at least an inch or two. He took a breath. They had never been this close before, except when Johan was a patient and for most of that he was unconscious. It was heady. He wanted to close the gap more, almost did when Tenma spoke.

".. How long will you be in Japan?"

He allowed it to break the moment, lips quirking slightly, though he tried to control his amusement. "As long as it takes."

"As long as it takes for…?"

Johan shook his head a little, smiling and tapping a finger against his own lips. "I would like to see you again, while I am here."

"Why?" Tenma looked away, uncomfortably.

That stung slightly and Johan frowned. "Do I need a reason other than that you're a familiar face?"

Tenma didn't answer, shrugging a little. Johan let out a slightly frustrated breath and just reached into Tenma's jacket pocket, having earlier observed Tenma handing out business cards. He quickly pulled one out, holding it up briefly.

"I'll call you soon." He stepped back, turning and heading back towards the party.

It took several minutes before he saw Tenma re-join the party. Johan ignored him, speaking in English to a group of doctors about fundraising. He saw Tenma hesitate for a moment, clearly unsure if he should try and determine what he could of Johan's plans by listening to them.

His companion joined him, his hand reaching to rest lightly on his arm, dipping his head to speak lightly into his ear. Johan suppressed another pang, ignoring them coolly as he listened to a plan for an upcoming benefit.

It was simply a matter of time.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3, what what~

For anyone who read the earliest version of this on LJ.. obviously things have been rearranged. Don't let any secrets slip! 3

----

It was unexpectedly awkward after the party. Hattori had expected Tenma to be tired, but not so withdrawn, so pensive. He slid his arm around the doctor, curling up around him in the bed and nuzzling the nape of his neck gently.

"What's bothering you?" he asked quietly, letting his lips brush the other's neck, knowing it tended to relax him.

Tenma let out a breath, shrugging some. "Ah… nothing really."

"Nothing?" He leaned up a bit, to look at him. "You're sure?"

Tenma turned slowly in his arms, and his eyes locked with Hattori's. "The party was just tiring."

"There were a few rather rude people, weren't there?" He reached up to play with his hair gently. "I'm sorry… one would think that you wouldn't have to deal with silly accusations anymore."

Tenma's eyes slid shut and he leaned into the touch. "I was prepared for that. I have been for some time. Actually, I expected to be in jail by now, so I suppose I can't be too offended."

"Jail?"

"Mn." He let out a breath. "I never expected to be exonerated."

"Why is that?" His voice was low as he ran his fingers through Tenma's hair.

Tenma let out a sigh. "If my plans had worked, I would have killed someone anyway. What did it matter, if I went to jail for one murder, or for many?"

"..your plan?"

Tenma shook his head a little. "Was something that never came about. This is depressing talk."

Hattori frowned slightly, frustrated with the wall that Tenma suddenly put up and wishing that he could simply force him to tell him the truth. He controlled the anger and leaned in to kiss the other's forehead, trying to relax him. "Perhaps you should rest."

"Yeah…" Tenma breathed in and out slowly and deeply, relaxing in his arms. Hattori watched him for a long time as the other slipped off. Eventually he pulled away from him carefully, standing.

He was wasting too much time, babying the doctor. He had work to do, he reminded himself.

----

Hattori – or Friend as he was known here and everywhere that really counted – was really an exiled god. He understood this keenly, the god's sense of loneliness and the anger it brought.

It seemed like he could only release that here. He dragged Sada's head back by his hair, exposing his throat, attacking it with his teeth and ensuring that the other would have to wear turtlenecks to school in the next several days, never mind the rising heat.

Sada would do anything for him. He hated that – one of the only people who he could come close to calling a friend was such a pathetic weakling that he allowed even this. He thrust into him viciously at that thought, listening to the muffled, bitten-back whimpers under him.

Things would have been different, if only they had seen him, worshipped him like they should have. If only Kenji had.

Here on the tatami floor of his room, surrounded by manga and other things from his childhood, It was almost as if they hadn't grown up and he was still waiting for the others to come over, to discover what they had been blind to for so long. And they would, eventually – only this time they wouldn't be playing in a grass field, and they wouldn't be able to ignore him.

Sada cried out in earnest, and he reached up to slap a hand over his mouth, not wanting to hear it, because it just made him angrier when the other sounded so pathetic. He continued without mercy, not noticing the soft click of a camera.

Several hours later and far into the wee hours of the night, Hattori slid into bed with Tenma. The doctor was completely passed out and Hattori felt free to just look at him, thinking.

He wondered, sometimes, if Tenma was suspicious of him. He worked so much that Hattori figured it was impossible, but still… Tenma was a frighteningly intelligent person.

Perhaps he should place a spy on him.

Sliding a hand into his hair, he tugged Tenma's head up, brushing his mouth over his. It wasn't a tender gesture. It was more akin to his relationship with Sadakiyo. Predatory and controlling.

Sada was getting boring lately. Though technically his oldest friend, Sada had no fire and no backbone – and although he was intelligent, that didn't seem to translate to real life. Really he was more a burden than anything.

He wondered if Tenma was pliable enough to become a replacement. The doctor was very mutable – but underneath it, Hattori had encountered steel. The doctor still hadn't allowed him in. Perhaps it was too great a chance.

Perhaps he should cut his losses.

----

Johan pressed send on his phone and held it to his ear. It only rang once before Tenma picked it up.

"Tenma Kenzou" he answered it brusquely, and Johan frowned, wondering about the tension that dripped from his voice. It was almost enough to make him think that somehow the doctor knew it would be him calling – but of course that was a ridiculous thought.

"Doctor Tenma," he said warmly, in German, knowing the doctor would recognize his voice instantly.

There was a startled pause on the other line. "Johan. What do you need?"

"I told you I'd be calling soon. I'd like the company of a familiar face."

Tenma cut him off. "I'm working."

"Your shift is ending soon." He replied calmly, glad that he had charmed a nurse into giving him the information.

"You're checking up on my shifts now?"

"I'll be waiting outside, doctor." He said, letting amusement creep into his voice, and hung up.

It took longer than strictly necessary before Tenma showed up, tense and a little pale. He didn't stop walking, but he slowed and nodded to Johan, who stood gracefully and fell into step with him. "Thank you for meeting with me."

The doctor shook his head a little. "I can't talk long. I have plans."

"Well, in that case, would you like a cup of coffee?"

Johan was pleased when Tenma nodded slightly, and lead him into a quiet café that was just on the corner. Going through the subdued pleasantries of getting a table and ordering before he turned his full attention on the doctor, he tilted his head, really observing him for the first time.

He was too thin. It was the first thing he thought, something that seemed strange to even dwell on. But the other man's bones seemed slightly too sharp, his skin a little sallow even under the paleness. He didn't look unhealthy exactly, but faint shadows ringed his eyes, and although he was well-groomed, it seemed half-hearted. Johan knew he looked worlds better now than he had while Tenma was chasing him but still he would have expected more improvement than this.

Tenma's hands clenched tightly around the cup of coffee, and his eyes didn't meet Johan's. Even now, there was discomfort and suspicion – not that Johan could judge him for that. Tenma was right to be suspicious of him, a stranger with whom he had only shared despair. Johan realized with a slight shock that he didn't know how to begin talking to Tenma, but that for once he was uncomfortable with the silence.

"You look thin." It was the only thing he could think of, absurd as it was.

Tenma's eyes finally darted up to his, looking about as surprised as he felt. "I… what?"

Johan maintained the eye contact, willing the other to not look away. "You look thin."

The doctor flushed a little, awkwardness almost breaking the unbearable tension that had been in place before. "I'm fine, really." He seemed to not really understand his own words, or rather that they were being spoken in this context, with this person.

Johan nodded just a little. "I hope you're taking care of yourself properly. From what I've heard you were overworking yourself quite a bit, before."

"Who did you hear that from?"

Johan let his smile be the slightest bit enigmatic as he shrugged. "Rumors, reading between the lines in newspapers… here and there."

"Mn," Tenma grunted, noncommittally, sipping his drink. "Exaggerated, I'm sure."

"Probably. You must be happy to be home, though."

"I suppose."

Tenma's tone nagged at him and he focused on it. "You suppose?"

"It's an… adjustment."

"You must be happy to be spending time with your family." He prodded a little more.

"I haven't really seen them much." There was a different sort of wariness in Tenma's voice that Johan filed away for later examination.

"Ah… right. You're dating that man you were with at the party. Living together?" He asked, even though he already knew the answer.

Tenma nodded just a little, eyes firmly back down on his cup. Johan wondered what exactly prodded the reaction. Societal shame perhaps? Fear that Johan would hurt someone else that Tenma cared about?

"How did you two meet?"

"Ah.. we went to high school together."

"That must be nice."

"Of course." Tenma smiled a little but it seemed forced and ungenuine. It was strange to see an expression like that – although the meeting was tense, he wasn't the type of person to fake feelings.

With a sigh, Johan moved the conversation on to other topics. Allowing a brief conversation about her… _Nina_. It was surreal, hearing about her success in school and the career she was just starting. It made him sad and he had to keep himself carefully composed.

Conversation with Tenma, unlike almost everyone else he had ever tried to know, was effortful. Perhaps it always would be. Tenma didn't open up, didn't automatically respond to Johan's prompts to continue talking about himself and so he had to ask direct questions instead. Johan's skill lay in not raising people's defenses, normally – but Tenma's were already up around him. Perhaps that wasn't accurate; Tenma had walls up around everyone, only with Johan they were higher and thicker and topped with razor wire.

It remained to be seen how much of that was his fault, for what he had shared with the doctor, and how much of it was just natural for Tenma. Johan sipped his coffee slowly, after Tenma had excused himself, glancing at his watch. Their first conversation had lasted the span of a single cup of coffee, hardly fifteen minutes.

Tomorrow, he would do better.


	4. Chapter 4

This rapid writing pace is actually a lie. Most of this has been finished for weeks and the whole fic is almost 50 pages. I just have to smooth it out a lot. Yikes.

So for anyone who's reading this (few and far between, I know, but I appreciate the fuck out of you all! XD) here you go.

Warnings for this chapter: Sexual situations ahoy! Also, Kenji makes his first appearance :3

----

Johan slid into Tenma's office as the sun was just coming up. There was no real safe time to break into an office in a hospital. It was always busy, but this time was perhaps better than any other. At least now he knew Tenma's schedule and that he would not be there for several hours – and with the sunlight he wouldn't have to worry about a flashlight attracting attention.

Researching a person was a slow, methodical task, but it was a task he excelled at. He started with the shelves, just looking over them slowly. The books all neatly arranged, Japanese and German and English medical references, journals. Nothing really out of place except for a couple of books on the doctor's desk that he obviously was using.

The desk was next, piles of paperwork – patient files, scribbled research notes. Tenma's handwriting surprisingly neat for a doctor. Johan smiled just a little at that, then looked into the trash. Raising an eyebrow, he reached into it, pulling out several pieces of ripped paper. For a moment, he just studied the tears. They were even, methodical and cold – the paper was wrinkled though, held tightly. For a long time he considered what possible emotional implications the state of the paper could have.

He laid the pieces on the desk, looking at the writing. He still wasn't familiar enough with Japanese to tell if it was the doctor's handwriting or not. Slowly, he moved them around, re-arranging them.

Thankfully he recognized all the kanji, reading the note slowly. Committing it to memory before he slid his hand over the desk, carefully gathering the pieces and letting them fall back into the trashcan. Taking another moment before easing the first drawer of the desk open, surveying the flotsam and jetsam of any typical office. Pens, paperclips, post-it-pads.

The next drawer contained notepads, envelopes, stamps. He flipped through them slowly, finding nothing. Shifting, Johan moved the chair back some to open the final drawer. Full of files.

Shoved into the back of a drawer was a freshly wrinkled manila envelope. Johan paused at it, pulling it out. There was no return address, just Tenma's name and office number on it. He opened it, peeking in. It was filled with photos.

Johan turned the envelope over, spilling them out slowly, They were high-quality, probably taken with a telephoto lens. Tenma's boyfriend's face was clearly visible in some of them, and another man that he didn't recognize. The photos spoke very clearly. The relationship was abusive.

He couldn't help a sharp, angry intake of breath. Carefully he replaced them, then slid the envelope back in his hiding place. Just thinking for a moment then sliding out of the chair, replacing it.

He looked over the office slowly, making sure that it was precisely as he had found it, then quietly slipped out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

Tenma was in danger. That much was suddenly clear. He wasn't sure where from, precisely. The boyfriend, whoever sent the pictures. Someone would do him harm, if Johan allowed it. Of course he wouldn't – so the first order of business would be to figure out the greatest threat to Tenma and neutralize or eliminate it.

He took the quieter halls out of the hospital, clasping his hands between his back lightly, reflecting on everything he had found out so far. The pieces would fit, eventually.

----

Johan had begun meeting Tenma regularly, though he got the suspicion that Tenma was a bit distressed by the fact. Johan learned Tenma's schedule every week – the nursing staff was quite taken by him – and started showing up as he was finishing shifts in the afternoon and insisting on taking him out to the café.

Tenma showed late, of course – he always did, having a tendency to get sidetracked with patients. This time, however, he had a shallow gash over one eye, impossible to hide though it seemed that he had tried to tug his bangs over it.

"What happened, _sensei_?" Johan asked mildly, when Tenma approached him where he sat on a bench in front of the hospital.

"You're speaking in Japanese now?" Tenma shrugged. "Nothing. A nurse left out some wires from a machine – I tripped over them and grazed the end of an exam table."

Johan tilted his head a little – instantly distrusting that story. Tenma was never a good liar, and Johan was the best. Still, he couldn't very well accuse the doctor of lying right away. "It's not like you to be so graceless."

"I'm sure I'll never live it down." Dryly.

"Hn." Johan closed the book he had open on his lap, stretching a little as he stood. Deciding that he needed to get to do something today to break them out of this polite, distant holding pattern, he smiled a little "I'd rather get something stronger than coffee, today."

Tenma looked a little startled, then wary. "There's a bar around the corner…" The doctor started to suggest, dubiously.

Johan cut him off, though. He wanted to be alone. "I don't like the crowds. I have some beer, back at my apartment." He smiled a little. "It's nearby."

Tenma hesitated for a moment before shrugging a little. "All right, I suppose.."

Johan smiled, a relatively genuine expression. Honestly, he was rather delighted that Tenma had agreed, taking his arm lightly to lead him down the street and up to a very small apartment, above a pachinko parlor. It was one of those seedy places that rented out for cheap, and that was often paid for by the day or even by the night, though it wasn't officially a love hotel. Johan felt at home there, though – much of his life had been spent in less-than-savory areas such as this.

The apartment was surprisingly roomy, though that was more to do with the militant cleanliness and the lack of possessions. Still, he had found that the same barrenness that tended to put people off in Germany was almost normal in Japan.

Johan let Tenma take the couch and went to the refrigerator, pulling out a beer for each of them, opening them and handing one to Tenma who smiled a little, sipping it. "Thank you."

The conversation, like always, was light and unimportant. Johan asked about the day's work; Tenma asked Johan about his sightseeing. Tenma stood by the window, enjoying the breeze that came in, the sunset.

"You found my sister attractive, didn't you?" Johan spoke into a lull lazily, sipping his beer but watching him closely.

Tenma flushed at the question, choking on the beer just a bit and shrugging noncommittally, turning to look at Johan.

"I know you did." He set the beer aside and moved closer to the doctor. The air was thick with tension again. "And since I also know that you find men attractive…" his voice lowered a bit, letting the doctor come to the obvious conclusion. Tenma licked his lips a bit, nervously, and the only thing Johan could do was close the distance between them and was kiss him. It was a slightly awkward kiss, but that didn't seem to matter because Tenma was kissing him back in an adorably startled way before he pulled away slowly, shaking his head a little.

"This isn't right." Tenma looked nervous and guilty. "I'm with Hattori-san."

"Ah yes." Smoothly. The doctor flinched just a little, leaving Johan wondering if Tenma knew him well enough to realize that he was furious at the moment. "Hattori-san. He's remarkably photogenic, isn't he?"

Tenma winced again, but didn't look surprised. "…You went through my office."

"It's strange how committed you are to being loyal to a man who has another lover."

He dropped into a chair, looking like he had the breath knocked out of him. Sitting there with a miserable expression on his face, he admitted quietly, "You're right."

There was a measured silence and Johan stared at Tenma as he took a deep breath but otherwise remained still.

"So why bother?" Johan's fingers threaded through his hair, down to his chin, gently stroking and pulling just a bit, wanting the other to look up at him.

He did, eyes raising to Johan's slowly. "I don't know."

It hurt, to be refused for someone who had already hurt Tenma. For someone who would continue to hurt him. Johan pressed the feeling away immediately, looking at it in a detached manner.

"You're the first person I've kissed, you know." He kept himself detached, stubbornly refusing to show his emotions. He didn't want the doctor to know that this upset him – wanted to keep the image of someone who _couldn't_ be hurt.

He realized that he had failed in that when Tenma reached to place his hand over Johan's, very lightly. Setting the beer aside, he reached up for Johan's arm, pulling him down just a little.

He resisted, frowning just a little, stepping back. Almost angry with Tenma. "It's not that easy now, sensei."

Tenma smiled, which irritated Johan more. He would be damned if the other made fun of him, and started to move away. Tenma stood, catching him, keeping him from moving back further.

"Of course it is." He took a breath and leaned in, pressing his mouth to Johan's again. This time Johan was unprepared for it, finding himself relaxing into the kiss, deepening it. Unable to help a soft sound of desire. He'd never expected to feel this so strongly.

Several moments later, Johan broke it, carefully keeping his voice steady so as not to betray his nervousness. "You think I'll let it go at just a kiss, doctor?" he whispered, twining his arms around him firmly.

Tenma flushed deeply, his hands tensing a little on Johan's arms, but he made no move to back away and Johan took that as assent, reaching to unbutton his shirt. He had the decency to hide a satisfied smirk when Tenma shrugged out of it, his hands sliding to Johan's hips, slowly tugging the shirt out of his pants then pausing, pulling away a little with a frown. "… Are you sure about this?"

He wasn't sure whether to laugh at the doctor for being an idiot. Instead he took his shirt from Tenma and yanked it up with uncharacteristic impatience.

Tenma sighed and leaned into him again, wrapping arms around him and kissing him with an intensity that reassured Johan that this wasn't out of pity, that Tenma felt the same heat he did. Impatiently, he tugged them down to the floor, dropping his hands to Tenma's belt.

It was a fumble of hands and of kisses and clothing being cast aside, and it was like being able to breathe after nearly drowning.

Later, they lay sprawled together haphazardly, a loose and languid tangle of limbs that Johan would never have expected to find so comfortable.

Tenma's eyes were dark and unreadable, his fingers absentmindedly threading through Johan's hair.

Johan watched him for several long minutes, studied every angle and plane of his face. He sensed unease, though he wasn't sure why. It made him frown a little and lean up to catch Tenma's distant eyes.

"Is something wrong?"

Tenma blinked, sleepy and startled, before he let out a breath, shaking his head just a little. "Not really."

"Do you regret this?"

It took a long moment for the doctor to answer. "I'm not sure"

"Because of your lover?"

Tenma shook his head, seriously. "Not wholly. No matter how you look at it, this probably isn't a good idea."

Johan pushed himself up a bit, to look down at the doctor. "What do you mean?"

"I'm too old for you. And…" He broke the eye contact, flushing a little as he looked away. "You know I can't help but wonder if I can trust you."

Johan sat up fully, composing his thoughts. Truthfully he had expected something like this, but it didn't mean he liked hearing any of it. Firmly, he reached to tug Tenma's face back to look at him.

"My sister doesn't need me anymore. I cannot make her any safer or happier." It was obvious that the doctor didn't understand him, so he pressed on smoothly. "It's just logical that I would try to make you happier." He didn't mention safer, but it hung there in his mind.

"…Will you kill anyone?" he asked softly, sounding almost childishly sad.

Johan just smiled. He knew that it would be a foolish promise to make – especially if the doctor was in danger, like he believed. An outright "no" wasn't possible, but he also knew he couldn't imply "yes" either. "I want to make you happy."

"Why?" Tenma's voice was thick with confusion, doubt, wariness. Johan shrugged slowly, not really knowing how to ease that. It was impossible to just erase the past.

"I've told you before. You are a very significant person in my life, doctor."

Silence fell between them for a long moment before Tenma spoke again. "I don't know if I'm ready for this." His voice was so soft, Johan wasn't sure he heard it. Looking at the man lying with him, frowning a bit, even though Tenma couldn't see him, his eyes shut tightly.

"Ready for what?"

"Something… complicated."

"Does it have to be complicated?"

"We both have complicated situations." He sounded tired. Johan couldn't blame him. Instead he tightened an arm around Tenma, hoping that the gesture would help, somehow.

They didn't speak again. Instead, he let the doctor fall asleep while he thought about it. Did what he was doing make any sense at all? Johan didn't know. It was a strange position to be in, since most of his life there had been a goal and a plan. Now that was murky at best, and he questioned his own motives.

Was he here because he wanted to protect Tenma? Did he want to make the doctor happy? Or was he really here for himself?

----

A few weeks later, he had finally decided that he didn't care. Selfish or selfless, something told him that it was right to be with Tenma, and that it was right for both of them.

He kept drawing the doctor out for meetings, although they hadn't slept together again and Tenma hadn't mentioned the fact either. Their conversations were getting better though, almost philosophical in nature.

Even though they were getting closer in a way, Tenma had been keeping Johan at arm's length. Their conversations were intelligent and interesting – but almost never personal. It continued to be a source of frustration, so Johan turned once more to research. He held his hands behind his back, smiling softly as he looked over the stacks of records in the small apartment that he stood in. They were all very neatly ordered, seeming to be arranged very specifically… genre or what the owner liked best or something. He recognized only a handful of names – some of the kanji were unfamiliar to him still and some of the English names he had simply never heard before.

He really did lack in education in certain fields, something he hadn't really felt in most of his adult life. However, since coming to Japan it had become increasingly apparent. Tenma came from a completely different world – not only culturally, but socially. He let out a slow breath as something caught his attention. He placed a single fingertip on the edge of a picture that was half-tucked into the records, sliding it out carefully.

Several people were in the photo. It seemed to have been snapped when only about half the subjects were aware it was even being taken. His host was smirking from the middle of it, hair spiked and dyed blonde, guitar in one hand.

Tenma was there too, looking much the same as he did now, just much younger and thinner. Johan guessed his age at seventeen or so, but he could have been as young as fourteen. He sat to the side of the picture, cross-legged on the ground with a guitar in his lap, tuning it. He seemed utterly unaware that the picture was being taken. Johan smiled softly.

"Sorry to make you wait." Johan started the smallest bit at the other voice breaking into his reverie, slipping the photo back quickly and turning around almost feeling guilty.

"Not at all."

Kenji Endou grinned a bit lopsidedly, holding a tray with tea. He looked rough around the edges still, though it was obvious that he had tried to reform, to a point.

"Please make yourself comfortable."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five, at a nice little pace~

This is a shorter chapter but it was an appropriate stopping point. Kenji and Johan have a long talk.

Actively seeking RP partners for any of the series I write for – and some series that I don't. PM me or AIM me at katalyst019 if you're interested, please! :3

----

Kenji Endou grinned a bit lopsidedly, holding a tray with tea. He looked rough around the edges still, though it was obvious that he had tried to reform, to a point.

"Please make yourself comfortable."

Johan took a seat, bowing his head a little. He was getting more used to going through the motions of this culture though it still felt quite awkward and unnecessary. "Thank you." He accepted the tea and sipped it, though it was heavy and bitter.

"Of course. What did you want to talk about?"

Johan sighed a bit in relief, glad that this person at least didn't mind cutting to the chase. "One of your old friends, actually."

The man tensed a little, eyes growing serious. "Ah… may I ask who?"

"Tenma Kenzou."

"Ah, Ken-kun…" The tension dissolved, and Kenji smiled broadly. "Is he finally back in Japan now?"

"He is, actually." Johan said it slowly, puzzling over the reaction in his head briefly.

"Really?" The other man looked very pleased. "I'm so glad… I should look him up. So how can I help you?"

"You aren't suspicious of me being a reporter?" It was surprising to Johan, considering that every other person he had met with had.

"He was found innocent. If you're here for a story it's gonna be pretty boring, wouldn't you say?"

Johan laughed lightly, nodding. "True."

"So if you're not a reporter, you're probably a friend from Germany. And any friend of Ken's is a friend of mine." He paused to take a drink of the tea. "So what do you want to know?"

"Anything you would like to talk about would be fine. I've been… worried about him, and I'd like to know more about him."

"Hn. Well… you probably know Kenzo and I haven't spoken in a long time. I don't know how much help I'll be."

Johan smiled softly, shaking his head. "Any of your impressions would be fine. What kind of a person was he, before?"

Kenji raised an eyebrow. "Don't you know?"

"Actually… the truth is… he's really quite difficult to get to talk about his past." It was an understatement.

"Don't worry yourself too much. He's always been like that." Kenji grinned.

"Still, you were friends… you must know him a bit better." He prodded him gently, trying not to be frustrated. Even the most cagy of serial killers were easier to unravel.

"We didn't go to the same school or anything. We played music for a while, until he left to go to medical school in Germany. I guess sometimes we were more rivals than friends… I was pretty jealous of him, actually."

"Why were you jealous?"

"He was a lot better player than I was, and he didn't really even have to try. If he had tried to join a band, I'm sure he would've made it."

"He didn't?"

"Nah. I mean, he played with us a few times, when we asked him to. But he always refused to join our band – or anyone else's. He just didn't like to be part of stuff. Plus he was studying pretty hard, and there were troubles at home, I think."

"Troubles…?"

Kenji waved his hands. "Oh you know… we all had troubles at the time. That's how Japan is. I wanted to become a rock star, instead of run my parent's liquor store. Kenzo wanted to leave."

"What did his parents want for him?"

"To take over the hospital, probably. Kenzo didn't want to follow in his footsteps. I guess it's hard to have a famous father."

"Was there anything more that was troubling him?"

"Now that you mention it… maybe. I don't know what though. He would never talk to me, no matter how hard I tried to get him to."

"How much did you try?"

"A lot! Ken just kept everyone at arm's length. He was great if you needed help… but otherwise he could be really distant."

"I see." He said it slowly, the thought occurring to him that Kenji seemed to have a bit of a crush on his doctor.

Kenji sighed deeply and looked down into his tea. Johan recognized that look, had seen it in others before. It irritated him. "The truth is, I always wanted to be closer to Ken-kun. I know he was struggling with a lot, I just didn't know how to help."

Johan felt just the slightest twist in his gut, carefully keeping his mildly pleasant expression from slipping. "I'm sure it wasn't your fault."

"Mn. I guess. Truth is I was always pretty selfish when we were friends. Ken never really seemed to care, but now I…" He paused, shrugging. "You can tell a lot about a person from their music, you know?"

"So what was Tenma-sensei's music like?"

"Hn…" Kenji tilted his head a little. "Lonely, I guess."

"Lonely?" Johan put his teacup down gently, folding his hands.

"Yeah. I think maybe… he was always waiting for someone to draw him out." Kenji shrugged a little. "But none of us ever realized. We all just wanted to be famous." There was a long pause. "Do you want to hear his playing?"

"You have a recording?" He was startled by that, looking over to him.

He laughed a bit, standing. "Well… yeah. My band and I kind of begged him to get us into a recording studio once. He'd made some friends in the recording business, and they got us in as a favor. 'Course they made him make a demo too. Everyone thought he'd continue with music and he was really talented." Kenji took out a box, flipping through it and pulling out an old tape, waving it a little. "But Kenzo told me to keep it since he didn't need it. I think he only saw music as a distraction."

Johan frowned, thinking about that. "You wouldn't mind if I borrowed it?"

"Not as long as you bring it back." Kenji handed it to him and Johan took it, holding onto it very lightly.

"Of course. Thank you." He looked down at the tape in his hand, wondering if he would gain any insight from it.

"You're welcome." Kenji sat back down, refilling Johan's teacup. "Maybe you can find him."

"I already know where he is, Endou-san…"

"That isn't what I meant."

"What did you mean, then?"

Kenji shrugged. "We all get a little lost sometimes. From talking to you, I feel like you have been… and that right now, Ken is lost too."

The other's perception startled him into a slightly defensive mood, and he thought carefully about how to reply before the other looked at his watch. "Oh _shit_."

"Hm?" Johan watched him, bemused.

"I'm late for work – my mom's going to nag the crap out of me."

Johan nodded, taking the hint and rising smoothly, bowing once more to him. "Thank you for taking time to speak with me, Endou-san."

Kenji waved a hand as he got up too, walking him to the door and giving him time to get his shoes on. "Of course. Say hello to Ken for me."

Johan nodded, taking his leave.


	6. Chapter 6

Hattori watched Tenma get ready for work with a frown. Their relationship had been changing lately, though he wasn't sure how.

The doctor was withdrawn, quiet. Not that he'd been talkative before but it was getting worse, not better as he'd expected it to.

"Tenma?"

"Hm?" He looked up slowly from the newspaper he was reading as he ate.

Hattori slid over to him, wrapping arms around his waist from behind, nuzzling behind his ear – all calculated actions, things that used to set Tenma at ease. But today there was tension in his frame that hadn't been there before. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm just tired, I think.." He sighed a little, turning his head and pressing a kiss to Hattori's temple. A simple lover's gesture, but it reassured him a little.

Only a little though. "Is work being difficult?"

"I've had some complicated surgeries lately, but nothing more than that."

Hattori couldn't help but tighten his hands on Tenma, just briefly, before relaxing them. "I'm worried about you." He hoped he managed to keep the irritation out of his voice.

"I'm fine, really." There was none of the characteristic embarrassed amusement that usually accompanied those words. Instead, Tenma said them distractedly, as if he was placating a stranger.

Hattori nodded a little, though his suspicion rose again. "If you're sure. I have a business meeting tonight… I doubt I'll be home until tomorrow evening."

Tenma met his eyes. "You have a lot of meetings."

Too observant. It would only be a matter of time before Tenma got suspicious of those meetings. "Hazard of the job." Hattori pulled Tenma into a deep, possessive kiss, pressing him back to the counter.

It was time for a spy.

---

In the dark, Tenma and Johan rested side by side, letting their breath and heartbeats slow, from another overwhelming night.

He hadn't planned it, it just happened. Tenma had lingered over coffee a little too long, he hadn't wanted to go home for some reason. From there it wasn't even a choice for Johan to ask him home, and it was a rush of pleasure when Tenma accepted, even though it was hesitant, even though he couldn't quite meet Johan's eyes.

Johan didn't often come across anything that threw him. His calm was hard-won and essentially impenetrable.

Tenma's effect on him was one of those things that he didn't really understand, just that to be away from him was growing increasingly painful. With Tenma, the end of the world and his loneliness faded. They didn't disappear, but they faded to a memory – they didn't matter any more, really, especially not when their mouths were together, when Tenma's hands were in his hair. He wasn't lonely in those moments, and realized that he was becoming addicted to them already.

As he pressed his lips to Tenma's shoulder slowly, he examined the fact that even this wasn't enough. He still wanted to know more about Tenma, and was becoming increasingly frustrated that he couldn't find out anything indirectly. He took a breath, finally deciding to start asking questions. "Why did you give up music?"

Tenma sounded completely startled. "How did you know I used to play?"

Johan shrugged a little. "I asked around."

"Are you investigating me?" Tenma sounded equal parts confused and amused.

Johan was silent, just listening to their breath in the dark.

Tenma inhaled slowly. "I suppose I realized that medicine was what I really cared about."

"You weren't forced into it?"

"Into medicine?" He sounded startled. "What makes you think that?"

"It seems like your father pressured you to enter the field."

"That's not it, exactly. My father wanted us all to become doctors, of course… but Ryo, my older brother didn't, and it's not like he was disowned or anything." Tenma shrugged some. "They supported our decisions. I suppose… there was some problems after I chose to pursue medicine."

"Like what?"

"My father wanted me to take over the hospital. But I didn't want to simply follow in his footsteps."

"Why didn't you?" It confused him a little. People usually took the easiest path in life, what would benefit them the most. Tenma continually seemed to do the exact opposite.

"I... wanted to make my own path. I didn't just want to do the easy thing. I even wanted to surpass him."

"That's it?" He asked. It seemed too easy, too normal. He sensed a bit of whitewashing of the past.

"Essentially. Japanese culture is different than German. It's expected, in these situations, to follow your father's path. …What else have you found out?" the doctor pressed gently, shifting a little against Johan, turning onto his side.

"Very little," he admitted grudgingly. Irritated that there was so much about Tenma that simply wasn't known. There was no reason for it, that others shouldn't be as interested in the doctor as he was.

A soft laugh in the darkness. "I'm not surprised. I'm really rather boring."

"If that were the case, I would have found out quite a bit more."

Tenma's voice was startled and amused. "What do you mean?"

It took him a moment to answer. "Boring people never shut up about themselves."

Tenma was silent for a long moment after that. It was a thoughtful silence and at the end of it, he took a deep breath. "I suppose that I'm not used to… trusting people."

"You'd be foolish to start with me, then." Johan kept his voice smooth and controlled. He believed what he was saying – he wanted the Tenma to let him in, but knew he didn't deserve it.

"I suppose we'll find out." He inhaled deeply and let it out slowly. "I would perhaps have been content to find a hospital here. There is at least one that has an excellent reputation in my field. Ultimately, though, I left Japan because of one of my brothers. He'd gotten abusive." He paused for a moment while Johan just blinked in the pitch black, feeling stunned. "He hasn't changed much, either."

Johan inhaled deeply, but kept it silent. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck rising a little, his blood warming. The stirrings of anger. "Abusive?"

"He raped me." There was just the slightest hitch in Tenma's voice, the only thing that told Johan that Tenma had any emotion about it. That hitch, however, revealed that Tenma felt _very _strongly. He understood it, echoed it in his own thoughts whenever he thought about Kinderheim or his mother or what had happened to Anna.

Suddenly things became clearer. "He was the one who sent you those pictures."

"Yes." Tenma's voice was almost inaudible.

It had been a long time since he felt anger like this, slow burning, threatening to overwhelm him. He sat up, hands itching for his gun. He clenched his jaw, controlling what threatened to develop into a blind rage right away and tightly asking "Why are you telling me this?"

Tenma shifted and he felt the other's breath on his skin, a silent sigh. "…Because I don't want you to kill him."

"What?" His voice was harsh, even to him. He hated it, feeling like he was losing control, like fate was twisting and threatening once more.

"I want to trust you."

Johan fumed inside, furious because he'd been backed into a corner so simply and completely.

Tenma's hands brushed his face and he drew back just a bit but Tenma was insistent, sitting up to draw him into a slow kiss, a kiss in which he could feel an apology. That irritated him too, because really Tenma shouldn't feel sorry for anything and he growled into it, taking possession of the kiss, grabbing Tenma's shoulders firmly. The doctor made a slight, startled noise against his mouth, but didn't fight the bruising pressure of his mouth.

Finally Johan pulled away, "He won't lay a hand on you again," he growled, fiercely, his hands pressing Tenma back down to the mattress, holding him there as if holding him there would keep him _safe_.

Tenma was tense for a moment, before he relaxed, sighing deeply. "This is my battle, Johan."

"A battle you aren't even fighting."

Tenma's hands reached up to his arms, gently. "I am in my own way."

"Which is what, to ignore it?" Johan released him and shifted off of him suddenly, realizing that if he lost control right now, he could hurt him.

Tenma was silent, obviously having nothing to say.

"I'm going to defend you." Johan finally managed to level his voice off, though he still felt dizzy with anger and worry and all the emotions he had been running from for so long only this time they were for Tenma, not Anna.

"… If you really want that, then you won't kill again." Tenma's arms slid around his waist from behind, his mouth gentle on the back of Johan's neck. His hair stood up and he shivered a bit, the warm breath tickling him.

"Tenma…"

"You can't destroy everything that is frightening in this world." Tenma spoke against his neck quietly, his forehead resting against the back of Johan's head. "There is always something frightening. That's why we grow up."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not a child anymore. I won't let him hurt me."

"You are still frightened, though." He pointed out the obvious. How could he not be, considering?

"Of course I am. But I was scared when I was following you too."

Johan growled a little. "You couldn't shoot then. You won't be able to now, either."

"Not everything can be solved with a gun. If I kill him…" He paused, shaking his head firmly. "No… I couldn't. He's my brother. If it becomes necessary, I will report him to the police. I've documented everything."

"And you think that's going to help you?" He was incredulous, struggling to remain physically calm at least, though he was clenching his jaw.

"I think that it probably won't even be necessary."

Johan snorted. Tenma was so naive sometimes. "I won't let him hurt you."

"I won't let him hurt me either." Lips on the back of his neck, a slow, apologetic kiss. "I promise."

-----

Johan was following Tenma. He knew it wasn't something the doctor would appreciate, but it felt like he needed to. Even if Tenma refused to admit it – Johan needed to keep him safe.

Tenma slipped into a large conference hall that was filled with people. Johan lost him at the door, frowning and taking a seat in the back of the conference room, looking around at all the other people, feeling his skin crawl. It was overwhelming, the amount of freakish devotion in the room. Even he had never seen this before, having never had interest in starting an army or a cult.

This was a cult. He sat very straight in his chair, trying not to relay his discomfort. "Friend" it was called – or the leader was called, he corrected himself. Absolutely ridiculous, and yet… the press of fanaticism was hard to ignore. Not a single person in that room other than himself (and perhaps Tenma?) seemed to realize the absurdity.

He had gotten several strange looks, and here he couldn't tell if they were due to his foreignness or his being out-of-place. He supposed that he didn't seem like a typical Friend follower, for a myriad of reasons.

The lights dimmed, suddenly, and a voice was speaking, though his view of the stage was largely obscured from his seat. He concentrated, listening intently. His Japanese still wasn't quite good enough to get the whole of it. Still, he got enough from the reactions of the crowd around him.

They were enthralled. They would do anything for this Friend, anything at all. He could see it in their rapt postures, their unwavering gazes.

This was dangerous. And if Tenma was involved in it, it was yet another danger that couldn't be ignored.

As the performance ended, he slipped outside quickly, not wanting to get lost in the crowd. He paused just outside the door leaning against the door. He intended to wait for Tenma but then he saw a familiar face that _wasn't _Tenma's. If he hadn't been fixed on Tenma, he might have seen the lanky kid with the glasses and backpack full of too many books that followed them both before.

He _should _have seen him before. Wishing that he smoked or something, to excuse himself for continuing to stand there, because the kid was staring at him openly, with cold eyes that Johan knew too well from those he had swayed himself.

One of Friend's followers? It seemed likely, though it was not implausible either that Tenma's brother had asked him to follow them. Or perhaps he _was_ Tenma's brother. The thought made him frown a touch, scanning his face again. There was very little familiar there, other than the Japanese features.

Johan ignored him, allowing himself to look bored, for another few moments, checking his watch and then stepping away from the wall He would go forward just a bit further on Tenma's path and catch up with the doctor when the doctor made his way home.

In the meantime, either he would be followed and he could deal with it now, or he wouldn't, and he could deal with it later.

---

Tenma's walk home passed without incident and so Johan's did too. Their tail had disappeared somewhere, a fact in itself that did not set Johan at ease.

The next day, he stopped by the apartment Tenma shared with his boyfriend. It was uncomfortable, but he didn't want to wait. He needed to know Tenma's relationship to the cult, and he needed to know why he was being followed.

Tenma let him in, getting him a drink with an air of awkwardness, and Johan sat on a barstool at the kitchen counter, watching him. "How are things going with your lover?" Johan asked innocently and Tenma grimaced.

"Hattori-san…" He sighed deeply, pausing for a long moment. Finally he opened a drink for himself, taking a deep drink. "Have you heard about the Friend cult?"

Johan nodded slowly. "It's been mentioned."

"I believe Hattori-san is their leader."

Johan raised an eyebrow, though he wasn't really surprised by that. Tenma's lover had never seemed right to him – and now he was regretting not investigating him more, earlier. "I see…" He hesitated for a moment. "You've been followed lately too. I'd say that Hattori's involvement is likely in light of that fact."

Tenma looked taken aback, frowning deeply. To his credit, he didn't act surprised that Johan himself had been following him. It would have been just silly, considering the current revelations. "…I'm not sure what to do."

He wasn't sure what to do with that statement. Was Tenma asking him for advice? "Will you be able to shoot _him_, if the time comes?" he asked bluntly, and Tenma winced a little.

"I don't know… but the point is moot, anyway."

"Why?"

"You can't pull a nonexistent trigger."

It took a moment for Johan to understand what he meant, and when he did, the words burst from him, incredulous and completely uncontrolled. "…You don't have a gun? _Why_?"

"Besides the fact that I didn't think I needed one?" His voice cracked just a little under the weight of the slight hysteria that obviously wanted to bubble to the surface. "This is Japan, Johan. They're not exactly freely available."

Johan took a measured breath, getting angry at the doctor. He was putting himself in danger from not one but two directions and seemed to think that there was nothing he could do about it. And of course he was furious at himself too, for not realizing sooner that Tenma was unarmed. He couldn't help the slightest mix of derision and anger in his voice. "You say that as if they're impossible to get."

Tenma looked more uncomfortable. "Guns are _illegal _here."

Johan just let out a disgusted sigh. "You're involved with a cult leader and your brother is a psychopath and you're quibbling about illegality?"

"It's not quibbling," he responded, irritated. "I don't have mafia contacts and I can't risk being seen _making _mafia contacts. And even if I could risk it, I don't _want _any contacts, and I don't want a gun."

Johan actually rolled his eyes, briefly. "Don't you have any self-preservation instincts whatsoever?"

Tenma just took a seat next to him at the bar, letting out a breath. "If I did, do you really think I would have been chasing you?"

"I suppose not." Johan frowned, thinking for just a moment before reaching into his jacket, pulling out a gun and just dropping it into his lap. "Here. Call it a present."

Tenma blinked, looking down at it… picking it up with a bit of hesitation. He didn't seem shocked by Johan's "present" but also not as appreciative of it as he should be, really.

"It's loaded. I assume you haven't forgotten how to handle a gun," Johan drawled a bit as he shrugged out of his jacket and the holster, placing it on the bar between them. He ignored the slightly uncomfortable _nakedness_ of not having the gun.

"Of course not," Tenma sighed, placing the gun carefully back down. "Thank you." The words sounded dry and choked and not at all sincere, but Johan decided to take them at face value.

"Don't thank me."

Tenma looked back up at him, slowly. "Is this your only gun?"

He just gave him another look, this time letting it show that he doubted Tenma's intelligence. "No."

The doctor nodded, standing and pacing a little. Johan let it continue for several minutes before sliding out of the stool and stepping into his path, stopping him.

Tenma stared at him for a long moment, pale, his eyes dark and very deep. "What are you here for?" He asked the question quietly.

Johan smiled a little, dropping his eyes some. He had always been good at dissembling, but Tenma was also good at seeing the heart of matters – he didn't want him to see too much. "Didn't I tell you already that you didn't want to know?"

Tenma nodded slowly. "I don't, really. But I think I need to know. I think it's important."


	7. Chapter 7

Hey! For the few of you who actually are reading this…

From here on in, the writing pace may slow down a bit, as I've mostly caught up to where I'm really _writing_, not editing… and the school year is about to start which means I have work to do! But never fear, this fic is primarily because I love the idea of it, and it won't get abandoned. It's rough-sketched through the end, even!

----

Johan watched him for several moments and Tenma held his ground, looking back at him just as intently. Finally, he simply leaned in to kiss him deeply, half in answer, half to just avoid talking any more.

Tenma gasped into it, eyes closing. Johan drew back after several moments, watching Tenma try to get his breath back.

Finally he did. And of course as soon as he did, he had to ask, "Is… that your answer?"

Johan just turned away from him, picking up his jacket and draping it over his arm gently. Knowing this would be enough of an answer, and it was the only one he was willing to give Tenma, at the moment. "It's getting late, doctor. I'd best be going before your lover gets back."

"He won't be home tonight. Business out of town." Tenma burst out quickly, a little breathlessly.

Johan paused, looking back up at him. "Is that an invitation?"

The doctor seemed like he was holding his breath, fidgeting just the slightest bit with the hem of one of his shirtsleeves. He shrugged a little, awkwardly.

"Is it?" He pressed, stepping back towards him.

"Are you staying or not?" he asked, with an irritated sigh.

Johan just smirked a little, setting his jacket back down. "I suppose so. Do you have anything to drink besides beer?"

Tenma shrugged a little. "Sake?"

"Sounds fine."

---

In the morning light, Tenma looked absolutely peaceful. The lines in his face eased to make him look much younger, lighter. Sunlight flooded the room, even from behind the blinds, turning everything amber and warm.

Johan stared at Tenma, keeping still. He felt alien there – the ghost of a cold moon, absolutely out of place in a summer's morning. He couldn't shake the feeling, but also couldn't make himself leave. It had nothing to do with being in another man's bed, sleeping with his boyfriend.

The doctor rolled into him with a breathy sigh, smooth warm skin against Johan's chest and he was lost again, leaning in to kiss the other, even though he was still sleeping, pressing him back into the bed and slowly waking him up.

It was nothing short of incredible, to feel him come alive as Johan touched him. For the first time he felt like he was creating something with his hands, breathing life into Tenma with them and his mouth.

Tenma didn't have sex, he realized – he loved. He moved with Johan slowly, languidly; arching into him and returning every kiss with a sense of _presence_ that Johan ached to feel himself.

He wondered, as he buried himself in Tenma if the doctor felt what he did. If there was that feeling of _finding_ that he couldn't explain and couldn't resist.

He also wondered if Tenma felt the same finding here, lying with limbs entangled all hot and sticky and Johan's hair tugging through his hair gently, touching his face, reassuring himself that they were here and this _was _real and not some dream of being normal that he would wake from to a world of boredom and killing.

Tenma's voice filled up the silence like a bell, suddenly. "You should stop calling me Tenma." The doctor pressed his lips to Johan's wrist, turning into his hand.

Johan's mouth went dry, watching that simple, sweet gesture. "What do you want me to call you?"

"Kenzou. It's my name, after all." He smiled a little, dark eyes looking back over at Johan, nuzzling the inside of his wrist gently.

"So is Tenma." He responded, distracted.

"It's too formal." Fingers tracing up his chest, contemplatively. "Considering our situation."

"Are you leaving Hattori?" The question that had been bothering him since this started, since he had found the pictures. Tenma _had _to leave him. There was no reason to stay with him, and every reason to leave him.

If he didn't… Johan's chest and throat tightened painfully. Jealousy? Protectiveness? Contempt? He didn't know what he was feeling precisely.

"It seems like I'll have to."

The knot inside of him loosened and he let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "You can stay with me."

"I'm not sure that's wise…" He started with a slight hitch in his voice.

"Tenma…" He paused, frowning. "Kenzou. I don't want you living alone. Not right now."

Dark eyes looked into his, piercingly, but he held his ground. This was right. He could protect Tenma this way, if only a little.

"..All right."

"Thank you." He breathed out the apology quietly. Marveling at how much Tenma got out of _him _without even trying, how much was honest and laced with emotion.

Tenma simply nodded, accepting the gratitude with a solemnity before he pressed their mouths together, sealing the deal.

----

Yori had been watching him at work. It was the easiest place to hide, to blend in. He would sit with patients, wearing a hat and staring at him. He would sneak into the operation observation rooms and watch his brother perform the most complicated surgeries with a breathtaking grace. He'd even sometimes worn his scrubs, blended in with the other doctors.

It was also the place that Kenzou was always the most distracted.

He seemed more distracted than usual, lately. Yori, of course, knew all about the boyfriend – the idiot who thought he could steal _his _Kenzou away from him. It was why he had followed him, why he sent the pictures. He had thought he could convince Ken that Hattori didn't love him. Only Yori did.

_I love you more than he does_.

It was what he had written Ken, but it seemed that his brother hadn't bothered to take his words seriously.

Perhaps watching him like this was crazy – no, he knew it was. He also didn't care. He wanted Ken back. Nothing else seemed to matter, not his career, not the rest of his family, not even his own life. Everything else seemed dulled by comparison to the few fleeting moments he had spent with Ken

He would rip the world apart to have it back.

Kenzou handed the pile of charts he was carrying to the nurse – laughing at something the bitch said to him. No doubt she was flirting with him, though he wasn't interested. Lucky for her he wasn't.

He looked tired, circles under his eyes, hair in disarray. At some point he had gotten it cut and it made him look younger, more vulnerable. It only sharpened Yori's adoration for his brother. Somehow he seemed almost untouched by time.

Kenzou was leaving the hospital. It was the end of his shift, something that Yori was glad for. He had only been there for a few hours of it, but still he was tired. He had been working too, enough to keep up appearances and bills.

He watched Ken walk out, and stop to speak with a young, blonde man. Yori had seen him once or twice before – a friend from Germany, he imagined.

But then the man – the _boy_ – was standing and he stepped into Kenzou, _too close _and Ken's face, instead of holding that guarded suspicion that he had always seen in their meetings before, held an almost-fond smile.

He didn't shrug the hand that came to his lower back off. He didn't even flinch when the blonde pressed a light kiss to his cheek there, in the middle of the goddamned street. Worse, he looked different than Yori had ever seen him. He didn't have the same shadows in his eyes that he had brought back from Germany or that imperceptible distance that he always carried from his lover.

It also seemed that his cloak of loneliness was falling away, slowly. Kenzou was falling for this brat. It was stunningly clear and it _cut _him.

It wouldn't – _couldn't _go unanswered.

-----

He had gotten the phonecall from the doctor the previous evening. Hattori had expected it, of course. His spies were excellent.

It was almost a relief to hear that the doctor had been carrying on an affair. It was surely the cause of his distance, lately. Even though he had been to a Friend meeting, Hattori felt it was likely that the doctor had no real idea of what was happening.

He still would have to die, of course. He couldn't afford to take chances, not as they were drawing so close. He had been prepared to, since this morning. It was, perhaps, the only thing that saved his life, knowing that Tenma would be showing up to pick up his things.

Hattori heard the door open and shut gently and he started just a touch as he finished washing his hands. It was later than he thought it was… or perhaps the doctor was just early. He stepped out of the kitchen, to face Tenma. "Well this is… inconvenient" he said mildly, drying his hands.

Tenma's face was unreadable. His eyes were flat and guarded in a way that Hattori had never seen before, as he looked at the body that was covered in blood on the floor. It was fascinating – he had wondered about Tenma's capabilities, but this was beyond what he'd expected. It was almost like he faced a completely different person, one that didn't seem to care that his brother was lying in a pool of his own blood.

"What happened?" The doctor's voice was quiet and measured.

"Your brother miscalculated. I suppose he thought you'd be back and I wouldn't be here." He allowed a bit of a smile, making no attempt to put warmth into it, tossing the dishtowel on the table.

Tenma grimaced. "He came here looking for me, so you murdered him?"

"Well I suppose if you must put it that way..." He shrugged a little. "I was hoping you wouldn't find out like this." He paused, looking at the doctor appraisingly, suspiciously. "Though you seem to be quite calm, considering."

Tenma looked down at his brother briefly, then shook his head, meeting Hattori's eyes once more. "I already knew."

Hattori stopped dead for a moment, disbelief flooding him before he dismissed that foolish statement. What Tenma did or did not know would be immaterial once he was dead. He stepped forward again, one hand dipping into his pocket. Two bodies were just as easy to dispose of as one. Tenma moved back and in a blur pulled out a gun, leveling it at his head.

Hattori stopped short, eyebrows raising, taking a moment to regain a reined in sense of calm. "A gun? Really Tenma-san…"

Tenma held his ground. "Am I going to have to use it?"

He laughed derisively. Tenma was a doctor, and kind. It just seemed like such an empty threat. "Can you?"

"I was trained very well." Calmly – too calmly.

Hattori tilted his head a little. That solved many mysteries. It was a skill the doctor must have learned while on the run in Germany, and he did look entirely too comfortable holding it. Still, his instincts told him that Tenma was too kind. "Ah.. but _can _you shoot me?"

Tenma didn't respond to the mocking question, just keeping the gun trailed on his forehead.

Hattori stayed in place, smiling as if there was no danger. Knowing it unnerved people, that he could still turn this to his advantage. "You do manage to surprise me continually. I didn't expect you to be this calm, knowing your entire family is dead."

There was a startled inhalation of breath as Tenma's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

"Your brother killed your parents. Or didn't you know that already?" Hattori smirked a little. The doctor paled slowly as he took in the words, shaking his head a fraction, stepping back towards the door.

Hattori stepped after him, smoothly, not about to let him get away from him. Tenma knew too much.

He was utterly unprepared for the pain that ripped through his shoulder, forcing him half to his knees, into the blood that already was cooling on the floor. He stared up at Tenma, whose hands didn't shake as he continued to point the smoking gun at him, and whose face was very, very pale.

"If you're smart, you won't follow me."

Hattori couldn't help the laughter bubbling up in his throat as the door shut between him and the doctor.

He had actually _shot._


	8. Chapter 8

Forgive the radio silence – I've been busy this semester with teaching and family issues. Please to be enjoying the update – this is a sappy-ass chapter. It wasn't meant to be, but somehow Tenma needed a chance to forget his spine and Johan wanted to grow a heart to compensate.

----

Tenma stood in the middle of the foyer of his parents' house, looking lost and small. It wasn't just the impressive size of the mansion; it was Tenma himself who seemed to be folded in on himself, almost childlike. Johan watched him from the doorway, feeling like there was a vast distance between them, one that he didn't know how to bridge.

He listened to Tenma speak with the detective quietly, eyes downcast and bewildered. A door slammed outside… the coroner's van. Johan stayed still, quiet, eyeing the detective with distrust. He could tell that the other wanted to be able to pin this on Tenma. The doctor had a perfect alibi this time, thankfully.

It took forever, before the questioning was over and the detective left. Johan still watching Tenma, who finally just sank into a chair, looking absolutely exhausted.

Johan said nothing. What could he say? What did he know about this, and even if he did know something about comforting people, even when he didn't quite empathize… did he really want to offer something false to Tenma?

Somehow, he didn't. It didn't strike him as wrong so much as just… undesirable.

Instead of speaking, he went to stand behind Tenma, hands slipping to his shoulders, ignoring the momentary tensing of them and simply starting to massage them, gently, trying to soothe him somehow.

It was not something he considered himself skilled at, but it didn't seem to matter much. Tenma's eyes slid shut, and the horrible tightness left his shoulders gradually. Eventually the doctor was breathing deeply and slowly. Asleep.

Johan breathed a deep sigh, realizing it was relief. He slipped away from the doctor, searched different, well-appointed rooms until he found a blanket, and then came back to tuck it around Tenma before he settled down to keep watch on him.

He didn't know when he fell asleep, but when he opened his eyes, the room was bright and golden with morning. And Tenma was gone.

Johan refused to panic, though he could feel the familiar slicing along his nerves like an electrical shock or an ice-cold shower. He stood, looking through the house. He wasn't in the kitchen, the bedrooms, the bathroom… And then he caught sight of him.

He stepped outside, frowning deeply. The mansion was on a hill that overlooked the seaside, and he almost hadn't seen Tenma, quite far down the hill, sitting on the edge between dirt and sand. a swing that consisted of a single piece of wood tied in the middle to a the rope. From this distance he almost looked like a child, his back to Johan, but still he could identify the way he sat and moved, swaying just a little in the stiff ocean breeze.

Quietly he followed the small dirt trail down the hill. The rustling of trees in the wind drowning out most of the traffic noise, blending with it. It was a very calm place, almost eerily so. Still, it suited Tenma somehow. Sleepy, subdued intensity – languid wildness.

"Johan."

Johan stood there awkwardly, just watching Tenma for a moment before going to join him, standing next to him. "How are you?"

"Fine." Tenma shrugged a little. "Numb."

"Your parents.."

"We were never that close." Tenma cut him off.

Johan took a breath, sighing. "How is it to be home?"

"Fine, I suppose. He seemed very detached and Johan frowned, tilting his head a little.

"Don't you consider this home?"

"It's… was home to my family. They belonged here." He smiled a little, almost wistfully. Johan tilted his head just a bit, sensing loneliness in the expression.

"Belonged here?" He thought for a moment, considering Tenma. "You don't mean the house. You mean Japan, don't you?"

Tenma looked at Johan, curiously. "Japan?"

"Yes. Do you feel like you belong here?"

Tenma shrugged, looking out over the city that lay between them and the harbor. "Not really."

"Then Germany?"

"No…" Tenma shrugged a little. "My father's hospital, though, did feel like a home. When I was a child"

He frowned a little, watching the other from the corner of his eye. "Not anymore?"

"No. Eisler Memorial did too, for some time… but not anymore either."

"I'm sorry."

"It isn't your fault." Tenma hesitated for a moment, seeming a little awkward, almost shy. "Has anything ever felt like home to you?"

Johan paused for a moment, thinking. Shivered when the wind from the harbor picked up. "I suppose so."

"Where?" Tenma's voice was so soft he almost didn't hear it, but he knew what he said.

He cleared his throat a little, surprised to find that it was tight. "The end of the world."

He could hear Tenma draw his breath in, was startled when his cold hand was caught in a light, warm grip. "That isn't a home, Johan."

"I felt like I belonged there."

Tenma shook his head, drawing Johan to stand in front of him, looking at him seriously. "Home is different than that. It's more than just belonging."

Johan looked down at Tenma, curious and caught by the intensity in his eyes. It was surprising to him how young the doctor could make him feel sometimes – often he felt like he was the worldly one. Perhaps they just were from different worlds. "How?"

Tenma looked like he was grasping for words. Normally, Johan would have just smiled and continued on, but this was Tenma. He might not have been the most eloquent person but his opinion _mattered_. So Johan listened. "You don't have to be afraid or.. defensive or anything like that when you're home. It's someplace you're safe and can… feel." He trailed off, a little lamely, but it still struck a chord in Johan.

He reached a hand to brush some of Tenma's hair back, keeping it out of his face in the wind. "Is that why you work so hard?"

"I don't work _that_ hard.." The protestation was mild at best.

"You do."

Tenma tilted his head, admitting his defeat. "It's where I feel happiest."

Johan sighed a little. "Is that the only time you're happy?"

Tenma hesitated a minute, then smiled, sliding off the swing and taking his arm, starting to walk further down towards the small, rocky beach. "Of course not."

"When else, then?"

Tenma shrugged. "Simple things make me happy. Like when I have a good meal with friends. Everything is right in that moment."

"You're too easy to please." Johan teased gently, but also in a bit of envy.

"Maybe." Tenma pulled him to sit on the sand, pulling off his shoes, helping Johan to do the same. Their bare feet cracked the hardened sand left from high tide. Johan sniffed a little, vaguely uncomfortable, disliking feeling of it between his toes. It felt dirty, drying. He poked at a piece of hardened sand, frowning.

"Is it okay, that I still call you Johan?" Tenma asked, a sudden breaking of the silence that startled him.

"Why wouldn't it be?" He looked up from the sand.

Tenma shrugged, looking uncomfortable. "I know it's just one of the names you've been called…. It's not really yours."

"But it's what you call me." Johan smiled softly. "Perhaps that's enough."

Tenma looked like he was struggling with something, then just took a deep breath. "You're letting me name you?"

Johan rested a hand on his shoulder lightly, and Tenma looked up at him, still seeming troubled.

"In a way. Whatever name you choose to call me, I love."

"What if you had a real name? Something your mother gave you…?"

"I don't. And even if I did, it wouldn't matter." He tried not to let his features cloud. He remembered something, vaguely – but he couldn't tell if it was a dream or not. Even if it wasn't, he didn't care. "She wasn't worthy to name me."

Tenma sighed and leaned up, brushing lips over his cheek. It was a soothing gesture, not quite paternal, but definitely not sexual. Johan closed his eyes and let him, wondering just who the doctor was trying to comfort.

It took a moment before he realized that Tenma was speaking softly against his cheek. "The truth is… Hattori-san won't stop. He'll definitely want to kill me, now that I've defied him. Probably you too, once he realizes how much you know." Tenma looked down at his hands. "And I don't know that I can stop it. It's too big."

Johan drew back. He stared at Tenma and was silent for a long moment. "What do you mean?"

Tenma shrugged, looking utterly defeated. "He isn't like you."

"Like me?"

"He isn't.. he doesn't have a past like yours."

"He does. Everyone does."

Tenma didn't respond, closing his eyes. Johan hissed a little, realizing what the other was thinking. Tenma wanted to leave, to just abandon the fight. It infuriated him for a moment before he forced that away. Anger wouldn't help him, now, he realized. Hesitantly, he slid his arms around Tenma, burying his face into his hair. It was a very foreign gesture for him, probably for both of them. He inhaled deeply. "Don't leave. I—I need you to help me save the world." It came out softer than he meant it to.

"You want to _save_ the world now?" Tenma's voice cracked just a little, as if he was holding in laughter or tears or exhaustion. Johan didn't bother to analyze it too deeply.

"We've both seen the end of the world. I don't need to see it again. Do you?"

Tenma shook his head slowly.

"Then it's decided."


	9. Chapter 9

Everything had changed.

Nothing was different but everything had changed and Johan found that he didn t quite know how to feel. He was lighter, free in a way that he had never experienced before.

With that lightness came more perspective, more depth of experience. Before, Tenma was the one person who Johan felt for, but could not read. Now, as if their conversations had finally unlocked a veil over his eyes, he could see him clearer than ever before.

Tenma was pale with exhaustion, dark circles under his eyes. The lines in his face so faint only a few years ago were etched deeper every day. Johan kept silent as they walked back, but finally could hold it in no longer.

Why did you come back to Japan? He broke into the silence between them as the doctor brushed sand off his bare feet, sitting on the back porch of the house.

Tenma was silent, his eyes a bit distant, not meeting Johan s.

Johan pressed him, frustrated. Is this place your Ruenheim?

Tenma frowned deeply, finally looking at him, searchingly. He didn t answer and Johan, frustrated, prodded him again. Is it? Did you come here to die ?

perhaps it was, in a way. Tenma sighed, looking down.

Johan felt almost like flinching, not sure how he felt furious, terrified, relieved. Was? He asked, deliberately keeping the sharp edges from his voice.

Things never stop changing, do they?

Johan growled under his breath and leaned in for a deep kiss aiming to steal the doctor s breath away. If he could just make him forget, make them both forget in this moment . His fingers grabbed madly for Tenma s buttons and he was reassured when Tenma s hands echoed his own, shedding clothes with abandon.

He pressed him back into the wood deck, harder than he thought judging by the way Tenma broke the kiss with a gasp, but it didn t slow either of them down, Johan settling on top of him.

This was right. Real. And he wouldn t let it go, now that he had it.

----

It was a matter of simple research to connect Hattori and Endou Kenji. Tenma s mouth compressed into a fine line when the connection was discovered.

It was a relief when he decided to visit Kenji, and when Tenma insisted on going alone. Johan wanted his own chance to slip off. After all, if he was going to fight for Tenma and for the world, he had to look his enemy in the eye.

It was easy to slip undetected into Hattori s home, to be waiting at the kitchen table when Hattori stepped out of the bedroom in the morning. Johan noted immediately, with a certain satisfaction, the bandage on his shoulder the way his arm was held by a sling.

Good morning, Hattori-san. Or perhaps I should call you Fukubei, like your friends do.

Hattori s eyes narrowed, boring down into Johan s. He felt almost like smiling at the tightening around the corners of Hattori s mouth, the rage in his eyes. You re not my friend.

Johan nodded to concede the point, glad that the tiresome nonsense about trespassing and calling the police was bypassed at any rate. And you aren t theirs either.

Hattori snorted lightly. Why are you here?

Tenma-sensei is mine.

The anger in Hattori s eyes was even clearer now and Johan allowed the smile to show just a bit on his lips.

Yours, you say? Hattori stepped in slowly, but stopped short when Johan brought a gun up calmly, leveling it at his head. He didn t believe Hattori was armed, but he was nothing if not cautious.

The other man s eyes focused on the gun, his lip curling slowly. Your boyfriend s, I presume? Hattori s voice was icy.

Please. Tenma-sensei would not buy himself a gun again I had to force him to take the one he s currently carrying. Johan waved with it a little. Do sit.

I wondered where he learned to shoot. Hattori slipped back into his pleasant role, taking the seat, eyes meeting Tenma s solidly. I suppose you taught him.

Not directly. Johan smiled softly. Though he did learn because of me.

Hattori stared at him uncomprehendingly for several moments before he inhaled sharply, eyes widening with understanding. The newspapers said he was mistaken for a serial killer the worst one in German history. He trailed off.

Johan sat with him in silence, enjoying the moment. From experience he knew it wasn t easy to bring someone like this to a revelation that stunned them. He himself almost never had that moment but then Hattori was nowhere near his caliber.

It was never my intent to have Tenma-sensei implicated. Johan said smoothly, sipping the tea he made. I have a very strong interest in his well-being.

And so you re threatening me. Hattori shook off the shock.

Johan shrugged. I m simply giving you the information you need to make an educated decision about your plans.

Plans? Hattori said smoothly, looking the picture of innocence as he folded his hands on the table.

Plans. Johan shook his head. Don t be foolish. I of course know. As does Tenma-sensei. He allowed himself to smile, to allow admiration to enter his voice. You would be surprised at how competent a detective he is.

I m sure. Hattori drawled a little. And so what exactly is your point, here?

Johan shrugged. Call it professional courtesy. You should know that I have no intention of allowing you to upset Tenma-sensei. And considering that your plans would upset him very much

You intend to interfere. Hattori grit, and not for the first time Johan marveled at his lack of control.

Johan shrugged. Well yes. I do wish to protect my own interests. In fact, Tenma-sensei is currently speaking with Endou-san.

Kenji-kun He said the name slowly, as if in a dream. What have you told him..?

Soon he ll know everything.

Hattori s eyes narrowed. You are becoming quite inconvenient.

Should I apologize? Johan smirked a little, standing gracefully. Be thankful you aren t dead already.

If you haven t killed me by now, you won t. He sneered. I think you ve lost your nerve.

Johan held back a soft laugh, just giving him a small, mocking bow. Think about it What do you do with the world when you have it?

The other s face was cold and set in harsh lines. What on earth are you talking about?

It is a question I was never quite able to answer, myself. I wondered if you have an answer for it Johan watched him for a heartbeat before shaking his head. But you do not. You seem to have less than an answer than I ever did.

----

Kenji? He said it quietly, knowing it was him but the years had changed his friend quite a bit.

Kenji grinned and it was him again, that same manic smile that used to warm Tenma when they were still practically children. Kenzou! Come in!

Thank you. He murmured it softly, smiling and letting himself be ushered in, finding himself quickly seated, with a cup of tea.

I was surprised to get your call Kenji leaned back on his hands, watching him. Though I guess I shouldn t be. After all, your friend was here not too long ago

Friend? Tenma blinked.

Blonde guy. Franz or Fritz or

Johan? Tenma s eyes were wide and he tried to regain his centered self.

Oh.. was that his name? Really? I could ve sworn he said something besides that Kenji s head was tilted, eyes narrowed, thinking.

Perhaps it was his accent. Tenma kept his voice to a murmur, sipping his tea. Well no wonder Johan seemed to know so much about him. He had certainly done his research.

Maybe. He shrugged. He didn t tell you he d been here? So I guess that means he didn t give you back that demo tape I lent him

Tenma sputtered a little. You lent him that piece of crap?

It wasn t crap! Kenji was laughing, and Tenma found himself doing so too. They d had this argument so many times before, it felt like old times.

It was an you know it, Kenji I can t believe it s seen the light of day again.

Well that s what you get for being ridiculously talented at everything you do. The other man chuckled. So what s up? I get the feeling that this isn t just about catching up.

Tenma s face eased out of the smile and he sighed a little, putting down his tea. It s about Hattori-san.

Who?

Hattori-san your childhood friend.

Who? Kenji looked more mystified, and Tenma sat for a moment, unsure how to continue.

After a moment he frowned, pulling out his wallet, digging in it and pulling out a picture. Here.

Oh! Kenji exclaimed as soon as he looked at it. Fukubei, you mean.

Fukubei?

Yeah, that s what we always called him. Kenji smiled in what seemed to be fond remembrance. We all had nicknames. I forgot his real name. Hattori, you said?

Yes.

Kenji nodded thoughtfully, frown lines appearing on his forehead. Is everything okay with him?

Tenma shook his head, mutely. There s something you should know. You ve heard of the Friend cult, right?

Kenji s face changed, becoming serious in a heartbeat. Yes.

Hattori Fukubei-san is Friend. 


	10. Chapter 10

"Wh..what? That's impossible."

"It's true." Kenzou looked engrossed in his tea, obviously not really wanting to make eye contact for the moment.

"How do you know?" Kenji's voice was sharp, a little high. "I don't want to distrust you, just…"

"He killed one of my brothers." He looked up then, directly at his friend.

"Oh." Kenji felt himself grow acutely uncomfortable. "I'm sorry."

Kenzou let out a deep breath, shaking his head. He didn't look terribly upset – numb perhaps, but not upset. "Thank you."

Kenji nodded slowly, pursing his lips. "Ah… which one?"

"Yori." His mouth twisted in a bitter little smile and he sipped his tea.

"Oh." Silence fell between them, deep and uncomfortable. Kenji had never really known what exactly Yori's deal was, but he knew that there were problems between him and Kenzou. Bad problems. He couldn't work up any sympathy over the bastard. "So what do we do now?" Kenji's voice, though quiet, shattered the silence into sharpness.

Kenzou shrugged a touch, helplessly. "I honestly do not know."

"We fight." Kenji said firmly, practically daring Ken to contradict him. He smiled weakly back.

"Of course we fight." He reached across the table for Kenji's hand, taking it firmly. "And we will win."

Kenji smiled and nodded slowly. They'd be fine, as long as they fought together.

-----

Hattori _raged_. The body was gone and the blood cleaned up… but the apartment looked even worse, half-destroyed with the broken dishes and everything else strewn around.

They would ruin everything. _Everything_.

But no, he wouldn't let that happen. Perhaps that German piece of shit thought he was better than Hattori, but he had no clue what he was dealing with. None.

He shoved one last glass vase off the table, then shoved the table over too, out of good measure.

It wasn't ready yet. It was far, _far _too soon and he hadn't even had a chance to get Kanna yet.

But it didn't matter. If Kenji knew, it was time to act. It could wait no longer.

He kicked detritus out of his way, storming to the closet next to the door, grabbing his coat and slipping it on. It was time, again, to pay Sada a visit. He had neglected his oldest friend far, far too long.

After that… well. After that, he would rain death on the heads of Tenma and his pretty-boy lover and the rest of Japan.

It was a matter of days – weeks at the most – before they would know just who was in charge here.

----

It had been tense, the last couple of weeks. Hattori – Fukubei – Friend. Whoever he was, really, he had disappeared and his followers had started frenetically working on _something_.

Kenji had come to Tenma's home the night before, bringing Kanna. Their convenience store, the apartment… everything, gone. Burned by the followers of Friend. It hadn't surprised Johan, of course. Kenji was Hattori's target, whether he knew it or not.

He watched Tenma fuss over the baby, bemused. He didn't understand babies, honestly. He didn't get how Tenma could sit there with a silly smile on his face, letting her play with his hands and tug at his hair and gnaw and drool and all of that.

Children, at least, could understand a lesson. Babies were nothing but mute little tyrants.

But babies were not half as mystifying as Hattori's plans. Whatever they were, they were big. Johan had been planning for a battle, subtly. Guns had been stocked. Contacts were made. He was out more often than not, busy. Watching. Kenji too had proven a surprising help, and was currently watching the compound Johan had identified.

He slid up to Tenma, resting a hand on his shoulder, unable to help but smile at the warm smile that greeted him.

"Hungry?" He asked it lightly.

"Mn. Actually, I am." Tenma leaned up, brushing lips over his mouth.

Johan nodded, drawing back. He couldn't explain the tightening in his chest when he saw Tenma's smile, the way he seemed to warm up from the inside. Nor could he explain the protectiveness that seemed to overwhelm him.

He didn't know what was coming, but he knew he wanted to stop it, to safeguard Tenma.

He nodded to the food he had deposited on the table, scooping up Kanna gingerly to let Tenma eat.

"Do you even know what to do with babies?" Tenma's voice was wry, amused.

Johan shrugged, looking down at the chubby-cheeked little girl who had started squirming in his hands. "Not particularly. But really, how hard can it be?"

Tenma chuckled softly and Johan staunchly ignored him, looking down at the child in his arms. She was so… small. Fragile in a way that he was u unaccustomed to. Her tiny fingers pulled at his collar and he just stared at her.

Tenma stood, wrapping his arms around them both, nuzzling into his neck. "Thank you for lunch."

It was ridiculously domestic, but Johan still leaned back into it, pressing a careful kiss to his temple. He could do without Kanna in his hands, fussing, but otherwise this was all he wanted.

This was worth fighting for. Love always was. It was the only thing he had ever believed in.

----

All too soon, they knew what Hattori had planned.

They heard the alarms before they heard the news on the television. They'd had an idea, of course, so they weren't completely unprepared.

No one could be truly prepared for this, though. Bodies lay nearly everywhere, blood seeping out of their pores. It pooled in the street, puddles of cooling, congealing blood.

Kenji wanted to throw up – only he already had not more than five minutes ago and he was sure there was nothing left in his stomach. He held the gun Johan had given him awkwardly, trying to remember the brief lessons, eyes scanning the streets, deserted save for an occasional car.

He didn't know how Kenzou and Johan were so calm. They moved with grace and determination, and their hands didn't shake. Their eyes swept over bodies – Johan's with absolute lack of emotion, Ken's with a kind of clinical detachment. They were almost as eerie as the scene that they walked through.

"Look out." Kenzou's voice rang out harshly, and Kenji found himself, Tenma, and Johan all shoved down an alley and into a deep doorway as a car drove by.

A faint patter of drops echoed around them. Kenji didn't remember the forecast calling for rain. He nearly put his hand out, but was stopped by a hiss from Kenzou.

"A car. They're spraying something. I think it's the contagion." The doctor murmured. "It can't be airborne. It requires direct contact."

Kenji's breath caught in his throat painfully, eyes wide as he watched the unnatural rainstorm pass.

"I suppose he gave up on the robot." Johan mused from beside him.

"Stay out of the rain." Kenzou said decisively, pressing them out of the doorway. "We need to keep moving. He will be here soon enough."

"How can you be sure of that?" Kenji gave him a doubtful look. Only an idiot would be here, in the hell that Fukubei had created.

"He's a narcissist." Johan said, hand on Kenzou's shoulder, steadyingly.

"How astute." A voice rang out from behind them, footsteps echoing in the dark alley. "I'm disappointed you didn't ask me to come play with you…"

Kenji whirled around. A man wearing an impeccably tailored suit and a child's mask stood there. And he knew immediately who it was.

"Is there need for that, Fukubei?" He asked tightly.

There was a startled moment, then muffled, hysterically insane laughter, his attention shifting for a moment to Kenzou. "Oh, I really am going to have to punish you, sensei for giving the game away so quickly. I had so much more fun planned for us, Kenji."

Kenji raised his hands, aiming the gun towards his forehead, trying not to shake too much. "This is not my definition of _fun_!." His voice cracked and broke on that

"Do you really think you can kill me before you are exposed?" Fukubei's arm rose, pointing behind them, to the car that had backed up, blocking them into the alley. "You should put that silly toy away."

Johan made a soft, annoyed sound under his breath. "The doorway, Sensei." His voice was so quiet, for a moment Kenji didn't believe he had heard it. But then he felt Tenma's hand on his wrist, hard.

He didn't see Fukubei drop, barely even heard the shot, registering it all only after he had been slammed again against the door, this time by Johan, his hand holding the gun next to Kenji's head. He stared at it numbly, the smell of gunpowder suddenly coming to him, both faint and somehow overwhelming.

There was a breathless moment where it seemed that everything in the world had stopped.

They waited for the deadly rain again for what seemed like an eternity, but surely was only seconds before the car unexpectedly revved and sped off.

It was several more heartbeats before Johan let them away from the doorway, stepping out, his gun raised in his hand, warily.

Kenzou hurried to Fukubei's side, cautiously kneeling. He had been far enough back to be out of the spray, the ground around him dry except for the blood that seeped from a clean bullet through his forehead.

"He's alive." His voice echoed eerily down the alleyway.

Kenji found himself stiffening, watching them in disbelief. "How is that even possible?"

Johan laughed softly, making the hair on the back of Kenji's neck raise in the way that it had when the Friend cult had burned down his store, or when they had stepped out to find the world had exploded. Somehow in that moment he looked like a wolf, all hard tearing edges and danger.

"There's a hospital a block away." Kenzou straightened a little, catching Kenji's attention again. "We'll take him there. No use in calling the ambulance, I'm sure they're busy, or worse."

Kenji stood stock-still, mind whirling. Kenzou was actually planning on _saving _this piece of shit?

"Are you insane?" His voice was low and, he knew, ugly. Rage filled all the numb hollow spaces that had been left by the horrific tableau and he felt sick with it.

"Help him." Johan's voice was utterly calm. He could have been discussing the zen mysteries of life, and despite himself, he found himself going to help pick Fukubei up off the ground, glaring down at the pale bundle in their arms.

"You had better have a damn good reason for this." He snarled under his breath.

Kenzou said nothing as they balanced their load – his former friend – in their collective arms, nor as they walked towards the hospital cautiously. Johan followed them, a pale deadly ghost.

How could they be so calm? How could they not be throwing their guts up or at least making sure the bastard bleeding all over Kenzou was damn well good and dead?

None of this made sense. The world and everything in it had gone crazy.


End file.
